I am a breastfeeding mother to a 19-month-old little boy. Yes, I am ‘still’ breastfeeding. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t have a clue how to parent without it, as I have yet to find a problem that boobing won’t solve!
As you may imagine, 19 months of feeding has required me to feed on trains, in cafes, in shops, in doctors’ waiting rooms, on soggy benches and, my personal favourite, on stage on Christmas Eve in front of several hundred people, whilst myself and my son portrayed the Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus respectively in the nativity.
Nowadays, I don’t think twice before I ‘whip one out’ and I feel incredibly proud to bang the drum for the normalisation of breastfeeding, but I have not always felt this way. I have felt judged, anxious and exposed. One particularly difficult instance that has stayed with me was when my boy was still a newborn. I was, as many new mums are, exhausted and emotionally at the end of my tether. I had bought into the TV dream of a baby who would snuggle into my bosom for milk, before being placed into his Moses basket, silent, sleeping and content. I pictured myself serenely pushing a pram through the park without a cry to be heard, and was not prepared for the reality of a baby that was only content in my arms and would fill the air with piercing screams the instant I attempted to put him down — something which I now know to be completely normal! On this particular day, I had bravely ventured out, and it had not gone well. It was raining, my baby was screaming and there was nowhere to sit to feed him. I ventured into a cafe for refuge and felt obliged to make a purchase. Let me tell you, no line is longer than a line for coffee when your child is screaming in their pram. I wanted to cry myself. Eventually, I ordered my cup of tea and negotiated myself, pram, baby and teapot to a table. I sat, I fed, and for a few minutes, all was well again. And then it came time to leave and the separation from the warmth of my arms was too much for my baby to bear. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, I felt so helpless. And then, a lady came over and spoke to my new born. “Isn’t your mummy doing well, she loves you so much and she is doing such a good job at taking care of you.” The tears welling in my eyes turned from ones of desperation to ones of gratitude. Her kindness turned my day around. Her kindness let me know that I could do this again.
If you want to play your part in supporting new parents, who are embarking on a fantastic new journey; whose worlds have been turned upside down and sleep schedules have been obliterated, there is so much you can do to help support them! If you are a local business owner, why not contact us to ask for a sticker to put in your window, letting parents know they are welcome to feed inside your premises? If you know someone who is expecting a baby, perhaps you could encourage them and their supporters to come along to our monthly antenatal breastfeeding workshop, where,
as well as discussing the mechanics and biology of breastfeeding, we cover maternal rights in public and the workplace? Or maybe as a new mother, you would like to come along to our breastfeeding cafes, run weekly across Charnwood (see the Charnwood BRAS website for details) for practical support from peer supporters and camaraderie from fellow breastfeeding parents? And one simple thing we can all do to support mums: be kind. Hold the door, let them ahead of you in the queue, make eye contact, smile, let them know: you see them and you get it. Kindness costs nothing and your smile could be the one thing to turn that person’s entire journey around.
Jules Storier
Jules is a member of Charnwood BRAS which provides reassurance and support for breastfeeding mothers. You can text or phone them on 07583041054 or email charnwoodbras@hotmail.uk