A cautionary tale about ethical breeding practices in pets. Mild gross warning.

My sister is a student vet nurse currently on placement in Nottingham. Some months ago, a breeder brought in the sweetest little grey kitten, nearly eight weeks old, saying that he hadn’t done his ‘business’ for a few days. After an examination, the vet noticed that the poor thing didn’t appear to have an anus at all, earning him the nickname Bertie No Butt.

Apparently, this is not as rare in cats as I expected; after speaking to my sister and my friend who breeds cats, I learned that due to a mix of selective breeding, and cats’ incestuous tendencies, genetic abnormalities can be relatively common. Bertie is a Scottish Fold which is a breed of cat bred to have fl oppy ears, hence the name. Adorable though it may be, this happens because they have almost no cartilage in their whole bodies which leads to painful arthritis in adults and a shortened lifespan to around five years.

Bertie underwent treatment involving surgery to create a new custom-made anus and regular checkups afterwards where it was discovered that ‘he’ may actually be a hermaphrodite, another common abnormality. At present, Bertie has been adopted by Ashleigh, one of the vets; he goes on hiking adventures in Ashleigh’s cat backpack with his snazzy little bowtie and is now lovingly referred to as Bertie Yes Butt.

Elliot Wilkes