One thing I know for sure is that cancer doesn’t discriminate and it doesn’t matter how healthy you think you are, the statistics now show that one in two people will develop some form of cancer in their lifetime. Last October it was my turn to be one of the statistics. When I started to tell others about my diagnosis this was the response I got from a few “How have you got cancer?” as well as the obvious shock and tears.

Before I continue, I want to be very clear that each and every person’s experience with cancer will be totally unique to them and we all have to honour this and allow them to feel all their feels. My experience is not your experience and we need to learn to stop projecting onto others how they should be acting and feeling – this has been the most humbling experience of my life.

When I called my doctor last July with “unexplained post-menopausal bleeding”, I had no idea that I would end up in hospital four months later with an initial diagnosis of a Grade 3 aggressive endometrial cancer awaiting a radical hysterectomy and oophorectomy. Basically, the removal of my womb, fallopian tubes, ovaries, cervix and nearby lymph nodes. I didn’t realise there were different types of hysterectomy depending on cause and to find out more, I recommend the eveappeal.org.uk who support the five different types of gynae cancers.

Please do not ignore any unexplained bleeding. There is no shame and thankfully my cancer was caught early and my diagnosis downgraded which meant less invasive treatment.

My surgery was more complicated than anticipated due to the presence of fibroids and I ended up with incision surgery as I was losing too much blood. Knowing how to look after your scars is key to your long-term recovery and something I had to learn for myself.

My whole focus from day one of my diagnosis was what I could do to support myself alongside the excellent care I received from the NHS as I needed to feel empowered. I went on a journey of education and understanding whilst convalescing and I absolutely allowed myself to convalesce with an army of wonderful girlfriends arriving at my home daily for the first few months to do all the household tasks etc. as there was no way I was putting my recovery at risk and compromising the internal stitches and enhancing possible prolapse.

There’s so much more than just the cancer diagnosis to deal with. Initially you are focusing on the diagnosis; the practicalities; the reviews; the meetings; and then all of a sudden you find yourself adrift once you are released from the system. It’s then all about getting to know your new body; knowing that maybe if you haven’t done so already you may get angry and start to feel many other emotions you may not have had the time to feel whilst you are caught up in the hamster wheel of shock, surviving, visits and juggling life.

Every day 23 women in the UK are diagnosed with endometrial cancer. There are five different types of gynae cancers so checking your vulva is as important as your breast. Know your normal. Abnormal bleeding is the ‘red flag’ symptom of womb cancer but most people with abnormal bleeding won’t have womb cancer – it’s three in every 100. For many women a cancer diagnosis and treatment can place them in a chemical or medical menopause and this is rarely talked about and often harder than their actual treatment. I have found the most excellent resource is the podcast Menopause & Cancer with Dani Binnington and her website menopauseandcancer.org a not-for-profit charity.

How have I got cancer? I’ve since discovered that I have an inherited genetic ‘mutation’ called Lynch Syndrome (one in 400 people has it) which means my risk of cancers is higher than average and I’m about to undergo tests for colorectal cancer. I’ll be continuing with my healthy lifestyle, diet and exercise as these truly do help minimise risk and aid recovery.

My biggest tips – buy pants two sizes larger than normal so you have comfort as well as cover; ask for help and be open to receiving it as this is not the time for stoicism and ‘pushing through’; learn to surrender and be patient with your recovery.

Mairi Taylor